Quick, to the slutcave!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
