Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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