why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she smelled like a LAN party
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
