Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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