His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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