She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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