pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
