How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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