all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
