Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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