So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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