so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
