I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
