I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
