she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize