What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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