The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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