you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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