You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
even my farts smell like vagina
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
