He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize