So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
