and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
