i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
