my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
