life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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