Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
