And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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