in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
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