just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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