Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
