had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
