At least make sure they are 18
Why
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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