My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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