Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
