this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
