did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
