fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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