I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
