I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
