That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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