It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
