I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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