ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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