i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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