woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize