was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
