Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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