so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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