All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
