don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
