I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she peed on how many people?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
