And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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