we're chasing vodka with high fives
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
