I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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