in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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