his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
