Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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