a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
