what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
