atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
