is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
