Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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