he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
