I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
