I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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