How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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