next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My ATM looks so different sober.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
