i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize