help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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