I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
