my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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