My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
