how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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