if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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